daryl's view.

http://www.facebook.com/#!/note.php?note_id=290459752944

feels like deja vu.

oh boy what can i say about this year. already, one month has passed and i feel that so much shit has happened. i've got a girl on my mind but is she in my heart? oh man i can't think about this now, i've got english prelim 1 tmrw. print all the shit sia.


gotta keep faith;

i think this post is gonna be long.

i'm getting big.
My shirt's getting pretty tight round my chest.
and it used to hang off me like a limp piece of cloth.

--

this post is going to be...irrational, i suppose.

Just can't get my mind off you;


Perhaps it's due to my studying of trigonometric identities...

that i've lost my own sense of identity.
i can't tell who i am now.
i used to be able to tell myself who i am, with conviction.
but i'm not so sure if i can now.

i used to daydream about girls all the way through double chinese periods (i still got my A1 in the end). but recently i've been unable to take my mind off this one person...

and yes, he's a guy.

i caught myself thinking about him after five minutes.

i sat myself down at the piano outside the band room yesterday. (the various sections were having a photoshoot inside. my section looked okay, all cute guys what. just my photo sucked.)

fingers descended on keys. after five minutes of this, i caught myself thinking about him. my heart went on like a metronome, calm, rhythmic, placid thumps at the speed of andante. which, oddly, gave me a sense of peace. and when i realised i was thinking about him, i stopped. abruptly, yes, but my fingers stayed loose and gentle upon the keys, black and white, afraid to play the next note.

hugs are irresistible, but when i hug YOU i get the feeling that i don't want to let go.

i decided to discuss this with two of my friends. both had a different way of putting it, but they meant the same thing: please don't go there. but i couldn't stop it then. i can't stop it now. it's taking over; i'm bending.

and when it comes to nap-time, i lie in bed just burning up;
well i don't know now. am i gay? maybe.
i just don't wanna think about it so much.

(imported from fb.)

just can't get this off my back.

personal attacks aren't new. and somehow, they remind me of politics. whatever, that's irrelevant.

what, may i ask, exactly WHAT has he done to you to inspire you to such deeds? WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE SOMEONE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW? from what i can see, all you have demonstrated is your ARROGANCE and your IMMATURITY. your snide remarks don't even make a proper critique. you think everyone as people inferior to yourself. you think you're the one with the ultimate gavel, but i'm not sorry to say you have no right to do that. What makes you think you're better than others? Is your brain more useful than a supercomputer? do you have super-powers and are actually saving people everyday of their lives? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, GOD?

so what? do you live for attacking people? is it your life-blood, your fun, laughter, peace and joy? i'd be ashamed to call you a fellow human being, let alone a friend. ARE YOU HUMAN AT ALL? does insulting people, using words because you think you're good at it, and seeing people getting worked up using a never-ending, wordy and pointless argument that's never getting anywhere give you a good laugh? the target might be putting up a tough front, but how about the fact that he's feeling worse than shit inside? sure, you're having fun. but what about the other's feelings?

Yes, you live for attacking people. and yes, you do it for kicks. but do you have to do it online, in a virtual world, where you think nobody knows who you are? if you're doing so online for that purpose, i'm sorry but i'll take it upon myself to term you a BLOODY COWARD. because that's what you are. If you wanna judge people's character, offend them or whatever, DO IT IN THEIR FACE, MAKE THEM KNOW WHO YOU ARE. do it in REAL LIFE, and if you're huddled in front of your computer 24/7, GO GET ONE!

the hell i know why you want to this. if it's for attention, do it outside! scream at cars which nearly knock you down! complain aloud about the weather! just don't do it in such a way that you HURT OTHERS' FEELINGS. that's just being cold-blooded mean.

i do hope you express remorse about this, to whoever you've given this kind of shit to. stop showing how arrogant and immature you are. YOU MAKE ME SICK.


and you're stopping me from doing my homework, because you've got me worked up like hell and i can't focus. damn you.