Screw homework, let's party all night long.

He who binds himself to a joy
Does the wing`ed life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in Eternity's sun rise.

~William Blake

7:46am.

Today.

For the first time in 5+ years.

Koh Kian Yu Ernest was LATE FOR SCHOOL!

damn tired. reached school at 7:46. LOL. go class weihao ask me why so late i say LATE LAR and he said HAHA NUBZ

slept at 10 yesterday.
aiyoh so much homework. must go chiong. CHIONG CHIONG CHIONG!

like Luis' comments. paper orgy lol. paper on paper action.

and then.


AIR IS LIKE SEX. IT'S NO BIG DEAL UNTIL WE DON'T GET ANY.

striking.

i can't tell if my heart is crying now. there's these little things in life that make me freak out then scream with relief (ie. this evening after band, i thought i lost my bag. I ran from the band room, throwing off my shoes in the process (i went back for them later), to the canteen and back to the band room. then i went INSIDE the band room and shouted to peizheng and shoki and weihao asking if they saw my bag. then i ran outside and found that my bag was right beside where i was standing before i started running. SCREAMED with relief.). But still, there's this emptiness somewhere there. unexplainable. like something's missing.


My heart. broken. picked up the pieces and fixed them back together. but perhaps that one piece...it's just out of place. Hella i know why, it's still beating for you.

allright chiong chinese. screw chinese man.

Let's talk about sex.

this is so a damn major mood swing thing.
just today right, i was feeling happy (because my CCA got A2 so i can just heck care CIP), so i went home with a light heart. so much that when i was about to leave the train, i spotted a purple sweet wrapper on a seat and i lamented aloud,

"HAIYO, when will this people ever learn. Littering on the train. TERRIBLE."

or something like that.

then i shook my head, make the tongue clicking disapproving sound and swooped down to pick it up. the passengers were like, STARING? KUA LAN JIAO AR? but i just couldn't be bothered to give a damn. when the doors open i just sauntered out feeling quite happy with myself. I made the tongue clicking sound again and said to nobody in particular (aloud, of course) that SEE LAR, IM SUCH A GOOD BOY. then i turned back and laughed before the train left. then i just walked up and actually throw the shit into the nearest dustbin i could find (right outside lorong chuan mrt. yes i live close to lorong chuan mrt.) then i walked straight into my place with my damn dirty smelly socks (i got pissed with my shoes during PE today so i played badminton with just my socks on AND THEN with my bare feet. i screwed up :/ and the floor was damn dirty so my socks became black) and watched TV. cruel temptation. while dinner-ing. and i was feeling pretty fine all that while.

and then i just typed, AIA. The power of WEE. Respect the short nation. and pressed send.

the one reply i got back just swung my mood back to being damn pissed. don't know why. first time i got so pissed since like what? last year? i ended up getting so annoyed that my whole right arm was trembling.

Why. why do i waste my energy getting so pissed with you? I'm sexy and I do what I want. so? why does every little thing you do or say affect me in such a big way. MOOD SWINGS. what are me and my world becoming? People do annoy me, but not to such an extent with just a small thing. maybe i'm just getting petty? i don't know. and i don't want to know. not yet.

Prelims 1 coming in a week. im going off to study bio. jys everyone. for the epitome in our lives they call "prelim one".

I'm damn tired.

What my heart is beating for,
I thought I knew;

But now I'm not so sure any more.
This is certainly NOT new.

cool, it rhymes.


I've got quite a few essays to write. Damn!
Got CIP Newspaper Collection tomorrow.

Essay 1:
LIES

Essay 2:
HOPE

Essay 3:
I dno something about Nelson Mandela I think? O.O

Essay(s) 4:
1.
2.
3.

Dunno. LOL.

Essay 5:

BAOZHANGBAODAO

and to top it off, lots of work NOT done.



I GOTTA KICK START NOW~





Drenched in vanilla twilight;





when I think of you I don't feel so alone;


(I won't sit on the front porch all night, I've got WORK to do.)


better get to my work.


Byebye to my sleep time.

ohmygosh

Oh my gosh i failed my trigo test 9/30
Stupid stuff that shouldn't be on that piece of shit were there
my calculator was in RADIAN MODE when i did the first 2 questions (which asked for answers and phrased the question with angles in DEGREES)

I really want to hide my face somewhere. shit ):

i totally FORGOT how to do the let p=sinteter shit. (4 marks gone)

damn sad

i was staring at my miserable graph and half-listening to what the teacher saying.
then the teacher stare at me. walaoeii ):


CAN PASS ONE LEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ohmygosh sec4 life really sucks
i got this stomachache that when i try to shit nothing come out
then when i stare at the mirror an evil old man stares right back

the stomachache I CAN'T FOCUS ON MY DAMN GONG HAN!!!!!!!

so i decided to write my essay first (or try to) and chiong that stupid chinese shit tmrw morning

OHMYGOSH my earth wind and fire disappeared from my file and it was there on tuesday morning

and i found my march blue sky and my shenandoah^^ yay.

anyway writing LIES for my essay (gerald wee's recommendation)

I don't know what to write, so i GOOGLED the word. and i found this link to this awesome hyperfiction story (WHATEVER!!!) and found within it INSPIRATION. yay!

and there's this statement i find really impactful(:

you will never truly understand a person until you understand her lies

Lies tell you more about a person than the truth does. Lies tell you what a person wants to be, rather than what they are. Lies are dreams, lies are fantasy.
Who wants to live the truth, when you can live a lie?

cool cool(:

so im gonna use this statement in my essay lol. thanks to http://users.rcn.com/rick.interport/lies/lies1.html

speaking about my essay i think i better start now.

buhbye.

maybe i shouldn't be doing this.

i can't believe i'm posting at a time like this.

I'll say this much:

being sec4 downright SUCKS.

chionging english project.

chem test tmrw, maths test on trigo. SIAN!!!

orientation +some more busy WALAOOO!!!

homework full blast coming soon, i hope im prepared

won't be posting often.


SEC4S JY FOR OLEVEL! 16YEARS LIAO, TIME TO BUCK UP, NOT TIME TO SCREW UP! JIAYOU!

happy new year to all.

does anyone want to know how I spent my last day of 2009?

Joshua and Titus came over. play pool, swim, watch movie. so fun!

Joshua didn't stay over, Titus did.

but otherwise, everything was normal. just one thing out of place. just one thing.

2009 came and went ridiculously fast. Sure it was full of ups and downs from top to bottom, sure it's been a great year for some and rotten for others. Sure it's a year when some people landed themselves in paradise, the lap of luxury, in success; sure it's a year when some people landed themselves in some stinking boiling trouble. we've got the economic downturn. we've got a lot of attention-catching headlines.

--Rest in peace, MJ--

so what? it was still a fast ride. so fast, it felt so fast, it felt so fast to the point that I feel that for the whole of 2009, it was too fast for me to achieve anything.

and then there was the countdown.

I watched it from my bedroom with Titus and my cousin without feeling much. After all, my grandma was spoiling the mood fast; she incessantly told me to wash up. and i didn't want to miss the damn countdown. she is a dear old lady, i can say that much; but at times she's just so stubborn. she has the energy, at her age, to throw tantrums, to make herself heard in a large, crowded room, and...and...heavens know what else she can do.

Power to Granny, I say.

Granny aside, I went to wash up at 23:48 in the night of 31st december 2009 (according to my phone clock) and rushed right back in front of the TV so I wouldn't miss the countdown.

10.

9.

8.

7.

6.

5.

4.

3.

2.

1.

And the celebrations started.

It felt so surreal. Even though we've left 2009 behind us, I don't feel ready for 2010. I felt as if I still had to do something before I went on to 2010.

but it's real and it's in my face. 5 seconds to 2010. what more can you do in 2009? just count down to 2010 with the rest of Singapore I suppose.

I didn't feel ready for 2010.

I didn't feel ready for O levels.

And i still down feel ready.

Screw O levels. screw it all.

I excuse myself for the bathroom. and I stand at a dark corner of the glorious space, listening to the cheers, the BOOMZ*, and the rest of it.

For one moment, I wondered why they're so happy. with 2010, it's one year gone, one year past, one year less to live. sure it's a new year, i just didn't get the "happy" part. its a O-LEVEL year for goodness' sake. Why, exactly WHY should I feel happy? Screw O-levels. Screw it all.

Whatever the reason was, I don't feel like finding out.





Happy New Year everyone~





it's MUGGING time.




*no reference to Ris Low whatsoever.