;just eat it.

today, i ran my worst run ever for 2.4. Perhaps it was because i was tired, but after my first round of one minute plus, the muscles in my upper body started aching like crazy. stitches were acting up all over my stomach; so constricted, like it was getting hard to breathe. so, barely through the second round, i was reduced to a pathetic panting blob of fats barely shuffling like a duck on the track. i couldn't feel my heart in my chest; instead it was thundering in my brain. that pounding headache i had in the wee hours of dawn was acting up again, it was throbbing nonchalantly in my head. i could hear myself hyperventilating, i could FEEL myself hyperventilating. my world spun. so after the entire fiasco in which i somehow managed to make it to the finish line, giddy, light headed and totally soaked in sweat, i found out my timing was 13:52. which, sucks lar. i was actually aiming for 12 minutes at least. perhaps i should change my technique when i go re-run it. and yes, im gonna re run it. perhaps it was because i stayed up till 430 trying to do that ss essays. whatever the reason, it all traces back to me being fat. so, next time imma CHIONG the thing. and hopefully shave off 2 minutes from the timing.

oh and by the way, would like to thank bryan nicholas for making me stay up and edit his part on the essays since he didn't know what was meant by "selective copying" and ctrl+V loads of irrelevant stuff and didn't even follow the proper structure. no, i'm not being sarcastic. because it didn't let me forget to bring that stupid chinese book to school today. or else i might have been forced to pay $4 and kena from the chinese dept. CHS CHINESE DEPT WIN. so, thanks bryan nicholas.

i'm really not in the mood to post about hawaii today, i'm in one of those horrid irritable moods right now when every little single thing pisses you off. well then, let's try to get some work done tonight.

RANDOM:

courtesy of apcommunity.blogspot.com

Dear Diary,

today, i decided to trial run my 2.4, since i missed it on a thursday when i was sick. and, guess my timing?

...

...

...

yup,it's 13'51'1.

THAT'S A DEPROVEMENT.

why, my last timing was 12+ ):
i'm getting WAY FAT
last time i weighed,
i gasped when i realised i gained

6 KG.

somewhere between sec3 and sec4.
oh well, probably nothing to worry about.
after all, i'm a growing boy.
though that's gonna fail my chinups.
i can barely do ONE ):

oh and, gky told me I WAS NEARLY THERE on tuesday.
what the hell, today i jumped. and i grabbed. then i pulled.
i wasn't even halfway to the bar. whattheshit man.
perhaps it's my arms that are tired.
they hurt so much at the slightest movements past few days.
lactic acid's work, OUCH. gotta go get some excercise for my arms.
legs' lactic wasn't half bad as arms.
no, it's not my arms are tired.
it's because im FAT and WEAK.
why, i can't even do 10 pumps now.
and i used to be able to do 30 in one shot.

oh, by the way, after i failed my chinup, i don't know how, but i banged my head against that hella huge wood log. saw stars man -.- dizzy for the entire school day after that. problems thinking and understanding and carrying out instructions. but well, the fact that i banged my head so hard and didn't knock out must mean i have a pretty thick skull. WAY TO GO SKULL!!! (i got up from squatting position like i would always do quite abruptly, without realising the wooden log was above me. damn stupid -.-)

I think i better post about the 4th day of hawaii soon.
something from school tells me my memory can fail me.
plus, i'm already feeling so guilty over not working on hawaii posts. it's been 3 weeks -.-

gonna run again next morning before chinese.
and after chinese, i'm gonna chiong my homework. damn -.-
nights everyone.

OBSESSED;
DAMNIT SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND.

some times, like now would be a good example, i wonder if i really am a born idiot. at times i'm doing stuff that's so stupid that it's annoying, not just to me, but to others as well. and it gets me all flustered. and nowadays, feeling like an idiot is a feeling i get all the time. BUT this is insignificant; why the hell am i sitting here just complaining about it? if i'm so hung up over this, how the hell would i be able to get over all those bigger problems in life? i'm a big boy now, it's time i grew up and solved my own problems. really, i'd rather be an idiot in order to not let feeling stupid get the better of me. some times, living up to social expectations isn't the number one priority. i gotta live life as it is, i don't care if certain people like during today give me the impression that i'm a nutcase. SO WHAT? I ALREADY KNOW I AM A NUTCASE. SO SHUT IT AND STOP GIVING ME THAT LOOK. don't tell me to change in order to live up to expectations because i say i like who i am as of now. and when i say i like who i am as of now, i mean i like who i am as of now. so, FEELING STUPID IS GOING DOWN. I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK, i don't like living to reach other people's expectations. i live for myself at the moment, and if i'm an idiot so be it, i'm an idiot.


now i gotta chiong homework. shit.

no, not today.

i've decided to take a break from posting about hawaii today, so here's something to keep my blog alive and kicking.

Laughter is an audible expression or the appearance of happiness, or an inward feeling of joy (laughing on the inside). It may ensue (as a physiological reaction) from jokes, tickling or other stimuli. It is in most cases a very pleasant sensation.

Laughter is found among various animals, as well as in humans. Among the human species, it is a part of human behavior regulated by the brain, helping humans clarify their intentions in social interaction and providing an emotional context to conversations. Laughter is used as a signal for being part of a group — it signals acceptance and positive interactions with others. Laughter is sometimes seemingly contagious, and the laughter of one person can itself provoke laughter from others as a positive feedback.^[1] This may account in part for the popularity of laugh tracks in situation comedy television shows.

Laughter is anatomically caused by the epiglottis constricting the larynx. The study of humor and laughter, and its psychological and physiological effects on the human body, is called gelotology.

Laughter is an audible expression or appearance of happiness, an inward feeling of joy or humor (laughing on the inside). It may ensue (as a physiological reaction) from jokes, tickling, and other stimuli. Strong laughter can sometimes bring an onset of tears or even moderate muscular pain. Recently researchers have shown infants as early as 17 days old have vocal laughing sounds or laughter. Early Human Development 2006 This conflicts with earlier studies indicating that infants usually start to laugh at about four months of age. Robert R. Provine, Ph.D. has spent decades studying laughter. In his interview for WebMD, he indicated "Laughter is a mechanism everyone has; laughter is part of universal human vocabulary. There are thousands of languages, hundreds of thousands of dialects, but everyone speaks laughter in pretty much the same way.” Everyone can laugh. Babies have the ability to laugh before they ever speak. Children who are born blind and deaf still retain the ability to laugh.

Provine argues that “Laughter is primitive, an unconscious vocalization.” And if it seems you laugh more than others, Provine argues that it probably is genetic. In a study of the “Giggle Twins,” two exceptionally happy twins were separated at birth and not reunited until 43 years later. Provine reports that “until they met each other, neither of these exceptionally happy ladies had known anyone who laughed as much as she did.” They reported this even though they both had been brought together by their adoptive parents, whom they indicated were “undemonstrative and dour.” Provine indicates that the twins “inherited some aspects of their laugh sound and pattern, readiness to laugh, and perhaps even taste in humor.” WebMD 2002

Norman Cousins, who suffered from arthritis, developed a recovery program incorporating megadoses of Vitamin C, along with a positive attitude, love, faith, hope, and laughter induced by Marx Brothers films. "I made the joyous discovery that ten minutes of genuine belly laughter had an anesthetic effect and would give me at least two hours of pain-free sleep," he reported. "When the pain-killing effect of the laughter wore off, we would switch on the motion picture projector again and not infrequently, it would lead to another pain-free interval." He wrote about these experiences in several books.^[2][3]

Research has noted the similarity in forms of laughter among various primates (humans, gorillas, orang-utans...), suggesting that laughter derives from a common origin among primate species, and has subsequently evolved in each species.^[4]

A very rare neurological condition has been observed whereby the sufferer is unable to laugh out loud, a condition known as aphonogelia.

Modern neurophysiology states that laughter is linked with the activation of the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, which produces endorphins after a rewarding activity.

Research has shown that parts of the limbic system are involved in laughter^{[citation needed]}. The limbic system is a primitive part of the brain that is involved in emotions and helps us with basic functions necessary for survival. Two structures in the limbic system are involved in producing laughter: the amygdala and the hippocampus^{[citation needed]}.

The December 7, 1984 Journal of the American Medical Association describes the neurological causes of laughter as follows:

"Although there is no known 'laugh center' in the brain, its neural mechanism has been the subject of much, albeit inconclusive, speculation. It is evident that its expression depends on neural paths arising in close association with the telencephalic and diencephalic centers concerned with respiration. Wilson considered the mechanism to be in the region of the mesial thalamus, hypothalamus, and subthalamus. Kelly and co-workers, in turn, postulated that the tegmentum near the periaqueductal grey contains the integrating mechanism for emotional expression. Thus, supranuclear pathways, including those from the limbic system that Papez hypothesised to mediate emotional expressions such as laughter, probably come into synaptic relation in the reticular core of the brain stem. So while purely emotional responses such as laughter are mediated by subcortical structures, especially the hypothalamus, and are stereotyped, the cerebral cortex can modulate or suppress them."

A positive link between laughter and healthy function of blood vessels was first reported in 2005 by researchers at the University of Maryland Medical Center with laughter causing the inner lining of blood vessels, the endothelium, to dilate or expand such to increase blood flow. ^[6]. Drs. Michael Miller (University of Maryland) and William Fry (Stanford), theorize that beta-endorphin like compounds released by the hypothalamus activate receptors on the endothelial surface to release nitric oxide, thereby resulting in dilation of vessels. Other cardioprotective properties of nitric oxide include reduction of inflammation and decreased platelet aggregation. ^[7]. A video demonstration of these effects can be found on the following link ^[8]. The association between laughter and endothelial dilation was recently confirmed by other investigators. ^[9]

Common causes for laughter are sensations of joy and humor, however other situations may cause laughter as well.

A general theory that explains laughter is called the relief theory. Sigmund Freud summarized it in his theory that laughter releases tension and "psychic energy". This theory is one of the justifications of the beliefs that laughter is beneficial for one's health.^[10] This theory explains why laughter can be as a coping mechanism for when one is upset, angry or sad.

Philosopher John Morreall theorizes that human laughter may have its biological origins as a kind of shared expression of relief at the passing of danger. Friedrich Nietzsche, by contrast, suggested laughter to be a reaction to the sense of existential loneliness and mortality that only humans feel.

For example, this is how this theory works in the case of humor: a joke creates an inconsistency, the sentence appears to be not relevant, and we automatically try to understand what the sentence says, supposes, doesn't say, and implies; if we are successful in solving this 'cognitive riddle', and we find out what is hidden within the sentence, and what is the underlying thought, and we bring foreground what was in the background, and we realize that the surprise wasn't dangerous, we eventually laugh with relief. Otherwise, if the inconsistency is not resolved, there is no laugh, as Mack Sennett pointed out: "when the audience is confused, it doesn't laugh" (this is the one of the basic laws of a comedian, called "exactness"). It is important to note that the inconsistency may be resolved, and there may still be no laugh. Due to the fact that laughter is a social mechanism, we may not feel like we are in danger, however, the physical act of laughing may not take place. In addition, the extent of the inconsistency (timing, rhythm, etc) has to do with the amount of danger we feel, and thus how intense or long we laugh. This explanation is also confirmed by modern neurophysiology (see section Laughter and the brain).

from wikipedia.com

here's a footnote: i got there by typing "haha" in my search box.

signing of now.

pray for her.