whoa.

you know, i don't think i deserve a point of view in this, because i think i've been really selfish today. and impatient, and only thinking about myself. but to hell with that, i'd just go on writing this.

so this morning, i woke up like every day i do, discovering that i had fallen asleep the night before studying (or at least trying to). and like the recent days, i look at my clock.

7am.

shit, i muse, getting the hell out of bed. so, after the quotidian, everyday, mundane morning fiasco, i left the house at about 7:21am (phone clock). which was pretty reasonable timing, since i live like one mrt station away from my school. and though my place is hell of a long way to the mrt station (and yet, not really), i can rush it and get to the station within five minutes instead of the usual 10 - 15 (if i really take my time). and then, i passed by st gabriel's primary school like i always do.

and then, i meet the annoying people like i always do. the parents who drive their st gabriel's kids to school.

well, i have to cross the driveways. the first led to out of the school, and the next led into the school. now let me say this.

THANK GOODNESS FOR TRAFFIC RULES.

as we all know, when we wanna enter a main road from the exiting driveway of a building or estate, we hafta watch out for the other cars zipping one after another on the tarmac like the devil was after them and when we find an "opening", we pass through, turn (swerve for some people who just does stuff like that for kicks), and join in the shitload of cars zipping on the tarmac like the devil was after them. so, there would always be a queue of cars waiting for the guy in front of them to get-the-hell-into-the-main-road-you-damn-slow-bastard so they could wait their turn to get into the main road too after dropping their kids off like bird droppings in the school. this one was easy. no need for being hella annoyed, no need to be irritated. just walk like nobody's business in between two cars in that queue. after all, they're not gonna budge until the guy in front of them does. no kicks.

so, i crossed that driveway with almost no trouble at all. except that when i was halfway through walking in front of a car waiting his turn to get the hell into the main road, the guy in front of him got in there. and the vehicle moved, and stopped jerking a little like it was raring to go and was like telling me to hurry up you tiny piece of shit. the driver! does he/she give a fuck about whether they'd bang down an innocent teenager of sweet sixteen who's not half done with his education yet? i didn't stop walking. but i turned around and glared at the vehicle without caring whether the driving is looking back for a full five seconds. like i always do. damn bastard. wanna kill me is it? but, this kind of thing is normal. get this kind of shit everyday. so i just dismissed it. it's insignificant; majorly insignificant to what could happen after that. and i walked some more.

and i passed the drive-in; turn-in entrance of St Gabriel's Primary. the cars were entering non-stop one after another. as usual. but because i was in a rather impatient mood today, that pretty much pissed me off right away. let me pass you dipshits! HELLO there's a guy waiting, can't one of you just take the initiative, let the boy pass first? but, that can't be expected of them. you had to make yourself obvious to them, practically throw yourself in front of the next car in line. of course, to avoid sustaining any injury, your timing has to be on the spot. so, i practically threw myself to the next car in line after the car in front went and entered the school. the car behind me, thank goodness its driver has a conscience, jerked back right away so i could pass. but i still glared at the driver. annoying shits with no initiative. what's with the adult workforce of singapore nowadays anyway!

as i passed the overhead bridge outside the school, and as usual, had to pass a couple of domestic helpers bringing the kids to school. so, being smart, they walked on the inner side of the asphalt to be on the safe side. no, i don't have a problem with that. but them, and the kids they're bringing along! they take up almost the whole of the pavement. so, being the gracious Singaporean student i am, i let them pass as i twisted to get past them, keeping my balance in check so i don't end up falling like a clumsy idiot onto the tarmac where cars zipped by like the devil was after them and getting flattened into human paste. they don't pull the kids out of my way, knowing full well it's my responsibility to ensure i don't knock into the kids advertently or inadvertently or their parents will be hot on my tail and writing to forums in newspapers so my school would kena from them so i would kena from them and have to do something like 100 cip (ahem, ahem) etc etc. so anyway, i twist by, feeling like a ninja, like i always do. passing dangerously close to two public buses to avoid the pedestrians with kids in tow, i truly felt like a ninja, twisting to evade the buses (omg that's DANGEROUS) and the pedestrians (who gives a fuck about them anyway). but they don't even show the slightest bit of appreciation, and they don't pull the kids out of my way so i don't have to risk my precious life for them.

'cause they know i'm a ninja.

oh, GOODNESS. i am SO NOT A NINJA PLEASE. i always LOSE to band peeps in ninja.

whatever, that's irrelevant.

the best part is that they had these qian bian faces on that really deserves a slap or two which kind of gives it away that they don't give a fuck. not the slightest bit of concern! but, that's normal what. they're only accountable for the kids, not the idiotically gracious secondary student who's running late in front of them. like, so what if you kena knocked down by that bus. none of my business what. plus, it's your own fault for thinking you're a ninja and being stupid and hence ending up in the way of that *shiver* mechanical monster. they don't even appreciate my graceful, fluid, smooth ninja moves. but to hell with that, it's not the point. let's move on. (well, ain't this a fallacy now.)

so when i finally did cross the road, and when i finally reached the MRT station (finally!), i looked up at the signboard that says when the next train was coming.

MARYMOUNT 2 minutes.

(i take the train towards Marymount when i go to school.)

argh damnit! i don't wanna miss the train i've to wait hella long for the next train! so i ran, with my bag on. well, my running totally phails (man i really need a workout soon. later people tell me their grandma can walk faster than i run-.-) so i didn't run at full speed, just ran. but my side of the station is the lift entrance of the platform, which was so damn slow. i don't have time for the lift.

(here's a tip for the admins of lorong chuan mrt. oy friend, why not construct escalators at both sides of the platform? then i don't need to run one whole round to get to the escalator to reach the train faster 'cause my grandma can carry me faster than the damn slow lift.)

so anyway, i ran one whole round to reach the other side of the platform and rushed down the escalator. the doors were still open and i thought, YES IM GONNA MAKE IT!

and then, this kaopei guy walked out of the train and blocked my entrance to the train door.

i wanted to scream at him. scream at him to get the fuck out of my way damn it, i ran just to get to the train so i won't miss it! my instinct kicked in - when i see a person walking in front of me, my body's instincts are to stop and let the guy pass first, perhaps i'm instinctively gracious - i stopped.

and the doors slid back together, with a dull, soft, boom.

the guy looked over his shoulder and looked at me. i glared at him. i was about to say something when he just cocked his eyebrow at me and walked off with an air of indifference.

shit man, i hate that attitude. APOLOGISE you bastard. didn't your parents ever teach you manners?

as a result, i had to wait for the next train. people sitting around in the station were giving me weird looks, perhaps laughing at me inside. hmph, just try standing in my shoes right now. KEEP STARING! just keep staring. how typical of singaporeans.

thank goodness the next train didn't take so long to come. anyway, that girl i passed when i ran to catch the train saw me when she came out of the lift. she glanced at me and gave me a cold stare for a moment. then she turned and walked away. good thing she did. i would have walked up to her, ask her what's your problem slap her hard for a good measure if she kept staring. damn bitch. tch.

now, as we all know, the circle line was recently extended such that the Bartley end of the line continued to stretch from Bartley to Dhoby Ghaut. so now, there is a new influx of people and that made the station crowded. fuck that, i hate crowds. crowds that are made of individuals absorbed in their tiny little lives (including me). crowds who obviously ain't having any fun being in a crowd.

anyway, as usual, a whole lot of people came out of the train and made a beeline for the escalators. well, being in an impatient mood, i decided to go for the stairs instead.

okay. now, this is stupid.

when i came out top on the staircase, i found this whole shitstorm of people surging to me, like one whole crowd against one me. so i brushed past a lot of people who gave me those dirty looks again, the qian bian looks, and i wondered why they were all heading in the opposite directions with me and making my life so difficult.

that's when i realised i was the difficult one - those coming out of the platform, keep to your left. and i went, SHIT. i tried to get to the left, but i wasn't allowed to. damn! and here i am trying to be a good guy.

so anyway, i thought the second escalator was faster, so i took that one. but there was this idiot walking up the escalator in front of me was so hella slow! i wanted to just tell him to get out of the way, you're walking way too slow to be in front of me. join the standing people on the other side of the escalator if you're gonna be a bastard who walks so damn slow! so i stamped hard on the escalator to get his attention hello hello im behind you can you please fucking walk faster! he didn't change his speed. ah well, forget it. reached the top of the escalator already. drop it then. but i was still pissed off. so i proceeded to walk towards school.

the walk from J8 to school progressed without event. that is, until i reached the school gate at 7:42 am. and then i remembered.

SHIT MAN I FORGOT THAT CHINESE BOOK.
(there goes my four dollars.)

being the good boy i am, i immediately felt guilty. because i left it just like that on my table.

so, later on, during morning assembly, lindanwen asked the people who didn't bring the damn book to stand up, go stand in front. briefly, i considered pretending that i had the book and get away with it. but what about pride? i decided pride was more important. i forgot to bring it. okay, you win. i admit. stand in front lar! it's not just about honesty yo. it's bout PRIDE as well. i bet there are tons more people than everyone who stood in front this morning. i don't know about their pride, but let's drop that - i don't want to arrow anyone.

but, as it turned out, it didn't feel so great to be standing up there and looking at the sea of people who brought their books so that they wouldn't need to pay another 4 dollars. and their books were closed. well, never mind that. i would do the same if i did bring it. i think my standing posture and my look was a bit too defiant, teacher came along and told me to stand properly. so i stood properly.

as i looked back to the people at me, i picked out a few faces that i found particularly obvious - sticking out like sore thumbs. one was directly in front of me. looking up, giving an idiotic grin and laughing to himself. well, never mind him. another - stretching up slightly to get a better view of the teacher speaking, perhaps? - eyes shifted and roved over the line of standing people in front, then back to the teacher again - all this while, open-mouthed, an expression once described as uncouth. well, anyway, never mind that. and then what's that - a familiar face craning the neck below it, looking distinctly at the row of people standing in front? and another! and another! and then a pair of eyes - what's that? my imagination, of perhaps a glimmer of contempt reflected in the mirrors of one's soul?

and the best part is, these are people we spend time together with, talk to, smile with, laugh with, whatever - and about every single day. now i understand, why it's so annoying to stand up there and have people stare at you like a freak show, like some exotic beast which has recently made its arrival in the local zoo. in future, i shall not stare at people who are being punished up in front or in any other manner. we're all friends, there's no reason to make your friend feel uncomfortable at any point of time. we're so caught up in our own lives; running our best in this rat race to excel in academics and in future, rapidly ascend the corporate ladder or perhaps be one of the most eminent and significant persons of society. as such, with the quotidian hustle-bustle of daily life - forget being bothered by anything, there's barely time to breathe - we are so rarely called upon to be friends, so rarely called upon to be a source of comfort to others. are we really fit to call ourselves friends when we are, in fact, a source of discomfort to our "friends", even in the most intangible, insignificant ways?

perhaps one might say, i'm overreacting. another might say that i'm just being selfish. and yes, both are true. i'm overreacting and i'm being overwhelmingly selfish, as well as being a glaring hypocrite. but isn't it not too late to make a change? still, interesting how a mundane recount of a typical morning can become such a -*scrolls up and back down again* - hell of an essay would be an understatement. i wanna change. i don't wanna be such a pain in the ass any more. its such a pain in the ass to be a pain in the ass.

i wanna be a considerate, a nice, and a good friend. i want to be a source of comfort to my friends, i don't wanna be a source of discomfort to others. now actually, i don't know how my conclusion should look like because i've pretty much dried up already. so i think i'll just end lamely :/ i don't wanna be a pain in the ass to others, and i believe i can become a nice guy who isn't ever a pain in the ass to anyone at all. well, first i have to get rid of this habit of being stupid (like writing this instead of mugging bio). lucky the stuff i studied for bio is still in my head right now. and now i'd like to quote from DARYL. "go on, make a change." if we want to, we can stop being pains in asses. just; be more considerate. be a nice person to everyone you can possibly be nice to. be a source of comfort to everyone you can possibly be a source of comfort to. and hopefully, we'd have this one day when everyone is smiling, everyone is glad to be everyone's friend.

;just eat it.

today, i ran my worst run ever for 2.4. Perhaps it was because i was tired, but after my first round of one minute plus, the muscles in my upper body started aching like crazy. stitches were acting up all over my stomach; so constricted, like it was getting hard to breathe. so, barely through the second round, i was reduced to a pathetic panting blob of fats barely shuffling like a duck on the track. i couldn't feel my heart in my chest; instead it was thundering in my brain. that pounding headache i had in the wee hours of dawn was acting up again, it was throbbing nonchalantly in my head. i could hear myself hyperventilating, i could FEEL myself hyperventilating. my world spun. so after the entire fiasco in which i somehow managed to make it to the finish line, giddy, light headed and totally soaked in sweat, i found out my timing was 13:52. which, sucks lar. i was actually aiming for 12 minutes at least. perhaps i should change my technique when i go re-run it. and yes, im gonna re run it. perhaps it was because i stayed up till 430 trying to do that ss essays. whatever the reason, it all traces back to me being fat. so, next time imma CHIONG the thing. and hopefully shave off 2 minutes from the timing.

oh and by the way, would like to thank bryan nicholas for making me stay up and edit his part on the essays since he didn't know what was meant by "selective copying" and ctrl+V loads of irrelevant stuff and didn't even follow the proper structure. no, i'm not being sarcastic. because it didn't let me forget to bring that stupid chinese book to school today. or else i might have been forced to pay $4 and kena from the chinese dept. CHS CHINESE DEPT WIN. so, thanks bryan nicholas.

i'm really not in the mood to post about hawaii today, i'm in one of those horrid irritable moods right now when every little single thing pisses you off. well then, let's try to get some work done tonight.

RANDOM:

courtesy of apcommunity.blogspot.com

Dear Diary,

today, i decided to trial run my 2.4, since i missed it on a thursday when i was sick. and, guess my timing?

...

...

...

yup,it's 13'51'1.

THAT'S A DEPROVEMENT.

why, my last timing was 12+ ):
i'm getting WAY FAT
last time i weighed,
i gasped when i realised i gained

6 KG.

somewhere between sec3 and sec4.
oh well, probably nothing to worry about.
after all, i'm a growing boy.
though that's gonna fail my chinups.
i can barely do ONE ):

oh and, gky told me I WAS NEARLY THERE on tuesday.
what the hell, today i jumped. and i grabbed. then i pulled.
i wasn't even halfway to the bar. whattheshit man.
perhaps it's my arms that are tired.
they hurt so much at the slightest movements past few days.
lactic acid's work, OUCH. gotta go get some excercise for my arms.
legs' lactic wasn't half bad as arms.
no, it's not my arms are tired.
it's because im FAT and WEAK.
why, i can't even do 10 pumps now.
and i used to be able to do 30 in one shot.

oh, by the way, after i failed my chinup, i don't know how, but i banged my head against that hella huge wood log. saw stars man -.- dizzy for the entire school day after that. problems thinking and understanding and carrying out instructions. but well, the fact that i banged my head so hard and didn't knock out must mean i have a pretty thick skull. WAY TO GO SKULL!!! (i got up from squatting position like i would always do quite abruptly, without realising the wooden log was above me. damn stupid -.-)

I think i better post about the 4th day of hawaii soon.
something from school tells me my memory can fail me.
plus, i'm already feeling so guilty over not working on hawaii posts. it's been 3 weeks -.-

gonna run again next morning before chinese.
and after chinese, i'm gonna chiong my homework. damn -.-
nights everyone.

OBSESSED;
DAMNIT SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND.

some times, like now would be a good example, i wonder if i really am a born idiot. at times i'm doing stuff that's so stupid that it's annoying, not just to me, but to others as well. and it gets me all flustered. and nowadays, feeling like an idiot is a feeling i get all the time. BUT this is insignificant; why the hell am i sitting here just complaining about it? if i'm so hung up over this, how the hell would i be able to get over all those bigger problems in life? i'm a big boy now, it's time i grew up and solved my own problems. really, i'd rather be an idiot in order to not let feeling stupid get the better of me. some times, living up to social expectations isn't the number one priority. i gotta live life as it is, i don't care if certain people like during today give me the impression that i'm a nutcase. SO WHAT? I ALREADY KNOW I AM A NUTCASE. SO SHUT IT AND STOP GIVING ME THAT LOOK. don't tell me to change in order to live up to expectations because i say i like who i am as of now. and when i say i like who i am as of now, i mean i like who i am as of now. so, FEELING STUPID IS GOING DOWN. I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK, i don't like living to reach other people's expectations. i live for myself at the moment, and if i'm an idiot so be it, i'm an idiot.


now i gotta chiong homework. shit.

no, not today.

i've decided to take a break from posting about hawaii today, so here's something to keep my blog alive and kicking.

Laughter is an audible expression or the appearance of happiness, or an inward feeling of joy (laughing on the inside). It may ensue (as a physiological reaction) from jokes, tickling or other stimuli. It is in most cases a very pleasant sensation.

Laughter is found among various animals, as well as in humans. Among the human species, it is a part of human behavior regulated by the brain, helping humans clarify their intentions in social interaction and providing an emotional context to conversations. Laughter is used as a signal for being part of a group — it signals acceptance and positive interactions with others. Laughter is sometimes seemingly contagious, and the laughter of one person can itself provoke laughter from others as a positive feedback.^[1] This may account in part for the popularity of laugh tracks in situation comedy television shows.

Laughter is anatomically caused by the epiglottis constricting the larynx. The study of humor and laughter, and its psychological and physiological effects on the human body, is called gelotology.

Laughter is an audible expression or appearance of happiness, an inward feeling of joy or humor (laughing on the inside). It may ensue (as a physiological reaction) from jokes, tickling, and other stimuli. Strong laughter can sometimes bring an onset of tears or even moderate muscular pain. Recently researchers have shown infants as early as 17 days old have vocal laughing sounds or laughter. Early Human Development 2006 This conflicts with earlier studies indicating that infants usually start to laugh at about four months of age. Robert R. Provine, Ph.D. has spent decades studying laughter. In his interview for WebMD, he indicated "Laughter is a mechanism everyone has; laughter is part of universal human vocabulary. There are thousands of languages, hundreds of thousands of dialects, but everyone speaks laughter in pretty much the same way.” Everyone can laugh. Babies have the ability to laugh before they ever speak. Children who are born blind and deaf still retain the ability to laugh.

Provine argues that “Laughter is primitive, an unconscious vocalization.” And if it seems you laugh more than others, Provine argues that it probably is genetic. In a study of the “Giggle Twins,” two exceptionally happy twins were separated at birth and not reunited until 43 years later. Provine reports that “until they met each other, neither of these exceptionally happy ladies had known anyone who laughed as much as she did.” They reported this even though they both had been brought together by their adoptive parents, whom they indicated were “undemonstrative and dour.” Provine indicates that the twins “inherited some aspects of their laugh sound and pattern, readiness to laugh, and perhaps even taste in humor.” WebMD 2002

Norman Cousins, who suffered from arthritis, developed a recovery program incorporating megadoses of Vitamin C, along with a positive attitude, love, faith, hope, and laughter induced by Marx Brothers films. "I made the joyous discovery that ten minutes of genuine belly laughter had an anesthetic effect and would give me at least two hours of pain-free sleep," he reported. "When the pain-killing effect of the laughter wore off, we would switch on the motion picture projector again and not infrequently, it would lead to another pain-free interval." He wrote about these experiences in several books.^[2][3]

Research has noted the similarity in forms of laughter among various primates (humans, gorillas, orang-utans...), suggesting that laughter derives from a common origin among primate species, and has subsequently evolved in each species.^[4]

A very rare neurological condition has been observed whereby the sufferer is unable to laugh out loud, a condition known as aphonogelia.

Modern neurophysiology states that laughter is linked with the activation of the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, which produces endorphins after a rewarding activity.

Research has shown that parts of the limbic system are involved in laughter^{[citation needed]}. The limbic system is a primitive part of the brain that is involved in emotions and helps us with basic functions necessary for survival. Two structures in the limbic system are involved in producing laughter: the amygdala and the hippocampus^{[citation needed]}.

The December 7, 1984 Journal of the American Medical Association describes the neurological causes of laughter as follows:

"Although there is no known 'laugh center' in the brain, its neural mechanism has been the subject of much, albeit inconclusive, speculation. It is evident that its expression depends on neural paths arising in close association with the telencephalic and diencephalic centers concerned with respiration. Wilson considered the mechanism to be in the region of the mesial thalamus, hypothalamus, and subthalamus. Kelly and co-workers, in turn, postulated that the tegmentum near the periaqueductal grey contains the integrating mechanism for emotional expression. Thus, supranuclear pathways, including those from the limbic system that Papez hypothesised to mediate emotional expressions such as laughter, probably come into synaptic relation in the reticular core of the brain stem. So while purely emotional responses such as laughter are mediated by subcortical structures, especially the hypothalamus, and are stereotyped, the cerebral cortex can modulate or suppress them."

A positive link between laughter and healthy function of blood vessels was first reported in 2005 by researchers at the University of Maryland Medical Center with laughter causing the inner lining of blood vessels, the endothelium, to dilate or expand such to increase blood flow. ^[6]. Drs. Michael Miller (University of Maryland) and William Fry (Stanford), theorize that beta-endorphin like compounds released by the hypothalamus activate receptors on the endothelial surface to release nitric oxide, thereby resulting in dilation of vessels. Other cardioprotective properties of nitric oxide include reduction of inflammation and decreased platelet aggregation. ^[7]. A video demonstration of these effects can be found on the following link ^[8]. The association between laughter and endothelial dilation was recently confirmed by other investigators. ^[9]

Common causes for laughter are sensations of joy and humor, however other situations may cause laughter as well.

A general theory that explains laughter is called the relief theory. Sigmund Freud summarized it in his theory that laughter releases tension and "psychic energy". This theory is one of the justifications of the beliefs that laughter is beneficial for one's health.^[10] This theory explains why laughter can be as a coping mechanism for when one is upset, angry or sad.

Philosopher John Morreall theorizes that human laughter may have its biological origins as a kind of shared expression of relief at the passing of danger. Friedrich Nietzsche, by contrast, suggested laughter to be a reaction to the sense of existential loneliness and mortality that only humans feel.

For example, this is how this theory works in the case of humor: a joke creates an inconsistency, the sentence appears to be not relevant, and we automatically try to understand what the sentence says, supposes, doesn't say, and implies; if we are successful in solving this 'cognitive riddle', and we find out what is hidden within the sentence, and what is the underlying thought, and we bring foreground what was in the background, and we realize that the surprise wasn't dangerous, we eventually laugh with relief. Otherwise, if the inconsistency is not resolved, there is no laugh, as Mack Sennett pointed out: "when the audience is confused, it doesn't laugh" (this is the one of the basic laws of a comedian, called "exactness"). It is important to note that the inconsistency may be resolved, and there may still be no laugh. Due to the fact that laughter is a social mechanism, we may not feel like we are in danger, however, the physical act of laughing may not take place. In addition, the extent of the inconsistency (timing, rhythm, etc) has to do with the amount of danger we feel, and thus how intense or long we laugh. This explanation is also confirmed by modern neurophysiology (see section Laughter and the brain).

from wikipedia.com

here's a footnote: i got there by typing "haha" in my search box.

signing of now.

pray for her.

hawaii, so much like a dream.
barely half a month has passed, and i've forgotten 90% of what happened there.
anyway, i'll try my best to remember day 3, because all i can recollect of day 3 is the absolutely GREAT dinner and dance. :DD well, which is a good thing, because i guess, the highlight for day 3 IS THE DINNER AND DANCE because day 3, now that i really think back, holds quite a bunch of significant events.

(random:) i have just realised that the older i get, the less i care. whatever, life goes on, so we better get moving too.

anyway, started off the day with a visit to Pearl Harbor that kena'ed from ww2. i don't like war, so many people get killed, what's the point? really, it's tragic. wars are pointless. DEAR WORLD, MAKE LOVE NOT WAR. anyway, the exhibits were pretty interesting (in fact, bryan nicholas would love them won't you bryan?) but i still felt more compelled to look more closely at the other side of the exhibit, the part that honours the memories of those who went down fighting in the war. it's so sad that people have to die in wars. now that's one of the reasons i don't take history. why dig up the tragic past (and write whole essays about them?) ? just know what happened, honour the memory of those who lost their lives to war. because no matter how sad our past has been, we still gotta move on, we've got a whole future ahead of us. why dwell on the past?

anyway, at the uss arizona war memorial, it stank of oil. could practically SMELL the fumes still rising from the downed ship. OIL WAS VISIBLY STILL LEAKING FROM THE VESSEL in honour of those who went down with the ship. the water was streaked with black marks and rainbows and there were FISHIES swimming about. like i said, WHY DWELL ON THE PAST? sure it's important to honour the memories of those who till this day still serve their ship, but isn't it more important to think for the future? DON'T CLEAR THE OIL and let the pristine, delicious water be tainted by fierce fuel? isn't that being a little too unfriendly to the environment? i thought about this and ended up in a predicament, so to UP my mood, i decided not to dwell on this any longer.

so, back to the hotel, we prepared our stuffs and went to the workshop with Tony Mazzaferro. i think i could have been more confident, according to my pink booklet from hawaii i recorded that i was half-scared of him and that i didn't give my all because i thought i could've been more expressive. i better work on that! :/

and then after that we had our performance at ala moana shopping centre. my take on it was, it wasn't bad at all actually. so after the performance, we went SHOPPING :DD problem was, the stuff there was really EXPENSIVE :o went walking around, met up with this blue-eyed pleasant young man (i seemed to recall meeting him somewhere before). and i had a dose of deja vu, so i stood still pretty surprised. you see, i seemed to recall being on the rooftop level of the centre. i don't know why, perhaps i'm a PSYCHIC :o. anyway, i got this soap from the guy for my mum. the soapy stuff was good, it really made my hands feel nice((: though i can't remember what it was. anyway, went back and i remember planning to freshen up and showering and dolling myself up with the helpful tool called WATER :DDD and on to the night's DINNER AND DANCE!!!

and here, i would like to say something that's been about my mind for days.

"like how fine wine burns ever so sweetly in my mouth, those fleeting, shining, precious few memories that i have of you burns ever so sweetly in my heart."

smooth, huh? but i guess, this was how i really felt, and i still feel this way ))):


so we had to change into our full concert u ): showered, feel nice, feel tight, and that's that for freshening up. i took few points into consideration.

-underwear, check.
-black socks, check.
-black leather shoes, check.
-black long pants, check.
-white long sleeve shirt, check.
-blazer, check.
-handsome, check. (actually this doesn't really need to be thought about, i'm always handsome. DUHH.)

so, had everything arranged, and ended up in table 40 with Remus and Benn Tay. i don't regret this arrangement at all, especially the table 40 part! (;

i shan't go into details about the dinner. these memories are for myself to keep :DD hahahahaha. seriously, i'm not gonna say anything, i'm just gonna SMILE at the memory of it(: always in my heart, hahaha.

the dance was totally EXHILERATING. i didn't know i could dance, hahaha. i'd pick up dancing after o's, i'm seriously thinking about that!!! but i guess, first i gotta bulk up, burn off all my fats. hahaha. i guess my feet were moving about the most, i was just going about anyhow. :DDDD now i know what it means to party!!!! hahaha, thinking of PARTY, i really wanna go PARTY now!!! partying all night long would have been great, but too bad it was like only a little over an hour. but it was still great :DDD

anyway i got back to the hotel pretty tired, and sweaty, so i thought really, wearing the full u to the dinner was so not a good idea? but still i enjoyed it lah.

i'm really tired lah, gotta get some sleep before tomorrow. oops, it already is tomorrow damn -.- whatever. i just realised i didn't study at all :/

well nights everyone...

day2 of hawaii~ and a little of today.

so well, we had a hour-long practice in the morning after breakfast, which kinda sucked 'cause i felt more than a little tired. and an hour doesn't sound long for a practice. it's a carpeted room, so being the responsible estate manager i am, i told the brass to get some cups over at the corner to empty their water. the cups were so small, but who cares, cups are cups. so, having had practiced opening and closing the stand the previous day, i proceeded to open my foldable stand without trouble. and after the practice, i had it packed in a jiffy. i am so proud of this achievement. :D oh and by the way, i forgot how to do that after hawaii, so don't ask me to teach anyone how to do it :o. after the rehearsal, we had free time so i went to eat. to be honest, i really don't know what i did in the free time we had. so after the free time at 2:30, we had another practice. (i think.) then went for dinner (i forgot where).

and after that, was the exchange with South Salem. i didn't talk much. (not that i'm really antisocial, but i guess i wasn't in a very talkative mood.) so they played dance of the jesters, we played arsenal (i think) and shenandoah. (hey, i'm listening to shenandoah now. coincidence!) and when i got back to s'pore, i added their trumpet section on fb. well, that isn't of importance, but sadly that's one of the few things i remember clearly. and after that, the day ends.

today wasn't much, except i was late to report again (i have to report at 7:20 for 5 consecutive days because i was late on the monday after hawaii.) well, whatever. the hero's always late.

i did homework until 5+ and then went to play my instrument for awhile, ezbon scared me again by tapping on my shoulder while i was playing :/. so after that i went to play the piano for quite a while. some people were rushing in and out, screaming; so some time later, i decided to check out what the fuss was all about. and to my great interest, they were playing NINJA.

i was really lousy at that, kept kena hit because of slow reaction. whatever, i'm still an amateur! after that i kena hit because of something like DAMNIT I DIDN'T KNOW MY HAND WAS THERE. whatever. i'll get better at it! then we taupokked shoki:D i was on top of him and my ribcage hurt for a while. ouch :/ but i think shoki was the one to suffer. he had a pretty bad abrasion on his knee and he said his balls were squashed because joel sat on the pile of people and his balls were in between his legs so yeah, ouch :o then i went home pretty late, with tzungern and jinsheng. jinsheng was rushing because he didn't wanna be late for his workout, and in the end he walked really fast one traffic light ahead of us. so we kinda decided to overtake him by taking the overhead bridge instead of crossing the road. so we ran. my bag was kind of light, so i overtook him pretty easy. when i looked back and stopped a little to wait, there was kind of a distance between me and the rest. we caught up to jinsheng in front of the mrt station, and after the mini-hussle over a waterbottle or something like that, boarded the train and home sweet home.

i'm hungry, i better get something to eat. then i'll sleep.
nights people.

hawaii. the flight(s) there.

i don't think i can remember much of the flights i took to Hawaii, considering I left two weeks ago. whatever, i'll try my best.

so. after all the packing and bubblewrapping was done, went back to band room. and then ezbon borrowed my phone for some reason and stupidly left it on the floor. he told me, but i was a little busy settling stuff. when i got back, i found a scene in the middle of the band room: disaster had struck - cokro stepped on my phone. idiot ended up spoiling my screen. for the whole of hawaii. idiot -.-

got the windbreaker and roundneck tee. and then, we waited. left for the airport at about 2+ (am.) i bought three red-bean pancakes which i regretted later (i finished them by myself) and then i had stomachache on the plane. it pretty much became okay after a while. was sitting with ruien. i can't remember what i did on the plane. :/

got to narita international airport in tokyo. and we had seven hours to spend there :/ well, something like that. i really can't remember how i managed to lug my hand-carrys about (includes my bag AND my instrument) 'cause i walked for the most part. i remember hoisting the case onto my shoulder when my arm gets tired. anyway, i was pretty much drifting about and i went to this japanese (i don't want to say jap 'cause jap sounds rude) restrauant and ate er... noodles. but it was nice :D and they have this cool device that beeps and when it does you go get your food. got it once i made the order. tells when the food is ready. really efficient :D so, i had all the time in the world to eat. i commenced eating.

(the people there accept US currency. :D though i got back my change in yen. :/)

oh, now i remember. the toilet is DAMN COOL. :D at first i was a little scared of it because it had so many buttons. but i had to shit, so i used it anyway. i used the toilet's shooting water to clean my ass, but the temperature was a little too high for me, so i quickly offed it after a while. (i don't remember how i offed it.) at this point, i remembered i brought my peanuts off the plane and somehow the packet exploded in my hands while i was trying to open it - must have ripped it too hard. i felt really stupid at that point. but well, being the responsible citizen i am, i picked up the floored nuts and disposed of them and avoided eye contact with anyone.

so i was lugging my stuff about as i explored the airport alone (i had no idea how i ended up alone). i was momentarily lost, but they had a map stationed at that point which came in pretty handy. so i was drifting about aimlessly and then i bumped into benson, darren tay and peng yu. so i ended up exploring the rest of the airport with them.

(wait ar, i go toilet. :/)

and i went to the meeting point with half an hour (around there) to go. i was a little bored so i took out my geog textbook to read. then i fell asleep. so, it was another flight. i sat beside this Japanese lady i didn't know. ON TO HAWAII!

when we touched down we came down on the steps and not by the weird metal tube they have which is connected to the airport. anyway, got there and did the us immigration checks and the stuff which is just so confusing. so, eventually got through and then got lei'd!

kept my lei on throughout the busride. then checked into the hotel. room shared with viclaus, derrick and huayu on 5th floor (most of CHSSB was on 4th floor) then we were brought around. the beach was pretty :D the water was BLUE and not like S'pore's East Coast (water is green.) and then went through the convenience store called ABC store. so i went :o and i discovered like 5 different ABC shops within walking distance of each other. freetime after that, i remember i had lunch/dinner/whatever, so long as it was a meal -.- with shoki one of the hawaii days, think it was on this day. anyway, i really can't remember what happened, except that tzungern kept trying on the sunglasses in the ABC store. oh, whatever. i really can't remember what else happened on the first day, it was such a long first day. i think i'd just call this one day. i'll post about the second day soon :D nights people.

oh i think i missed the napfa trials today. it's too late to train up, considering i always fail broadjump and shuttlerun and that i can't do pullups. -.- well, expected lah. i've always been a mass of fats i suppose ):

i better bulk up before jc, i don't wanna be held back in ns for being fat.